Close Your Eyes
by Ella Roberta Reamy
Summary: Snape and Lupin share a reverie on the roof of No. 12 Grimmauld Place. PostOotP. ONESHOT.


_Close Your Eyes_

He'd come up to the roof to look at the stars, to think. He often liked to sit up there; since the property was invisible to the outside world, he could be outside without giving everyone away.

He had expected to be alone as usual. It was the reason he liked it up here--to be away from those who treated him with a certain distance...an amount of disdain, even. Yes, he was used to it by now, but he still didn't like to sit and soak in the awkwardness. In fact, he would have gladly gone back to his darkened dungeon rooms, but Dumbledore had told him to stay at headquarters with everyone else in the Order.

So he was suprised to find himself in the company of a shadowed figure sitting in what was his usual spot. The figured turned upon hearing his footsteps. he was met with the curious gaze of Remus Lupin, who squinted in the weak light.

"Severus?" he inquired.

Snape stopped short. "Remus," he acknowledged. "I didn't know anyone was here. I'll leave."

"No, don't be rediculous," Lupin replied amicably. "Please, partake of the roof." He gestured to Snape to join him.

Snape shook his head. "I don't want to disturb you."

"Nonsense. We can't be on the same side of and keep ignoring each other like this," Lupin replied. He sighed and looked back up at the sky. "Besides, I could use the company." He patted the graveled surface beside him.

Snape hesitated for a moment. _Well_, he thought, _it's either sit up here or go back downstairs and listen to the Weasley brood run amok._

Snape sat down next to Lupin, feeling rather uneasy. He realized that Lupin must have been up here for ahwile, for Snape remembered that he couldn't remember seeing him after dinner.

Snape wondered what he should say, or even if he should say anything at all. He had never been much of a conversationalist, and nobody had ever seemed to want to hear him speak much anyway. However, Lupin seeemed to be content at staring pensively up at the night sky.

Snape's mind, however, kept nagging at him to say something. Anything. He cleared his throat. "So," he began in a businesslike tone, "Did you all see Potter off safely?"

"Oh, yes," Lupin replied, pulled from his reverie. He chuckled. "Those Dursleys are the strangest sort. And I've never seen a man turn such colors when angry."

Snape arched an eyebrow curiously, trying to picture it.

As Lupin turned his gaze back to the cosmos, Snape pretended to stargaze also, but instead cast a sideways glance at Lupin. Snape noticed that he looked more wan and worn-down than usual. Of course he knew why--Sirius.

Snape had actually been truly shocked when the news of Sirius's death had finally gotten to him. However, he wasn't sure quite how he felt about it. He wasn't happy, as we was sure that others assumed he was. But neither was he sad about it either. Snape had loathed Sirius with a flaming fury and always had, but the death of his enemy did not bring him joy. He had always wished that Sirius would leave, get out of his hair and cease the tedious torment of their "relationship." But he had really never wished death on him. Not in a terribly serious frame of mind, anyway.

Snape had been staring idly at the smoke emanating from the chimney while lost in thought, but was pulled back into reality by a strange noise that came from Lupin's direction.

Snape turned and saw that Lupin had drawn up his knees and was resting his arms on them. He then reached up and ran his fingers underneath one of his eyes. Snape suddenly realized that Lupin was crying. Alarms went off in his head--he needed to go, leave Lupin to his emotions, his thoughts. But Lupin spoke before Snape could do any of this.

"Severus," he said, his voice taking on a sorrowful weight. "I never...none of us ever...Severus, I'm sorry."

Snape was at a loss. He furrowed his brow questioningly. "What do you mean?" he asked, although he had a vague idea of what Lupin was speaking of.

"We were always so horrible to you," Lupin answered. "And for what?" Lupin sighed, quickly wiping away another single tear. "My god, I don't think I ever even knew why."

Lupin fell silent again. Snape continued to stare at him.

"I don't blame you if you never forgive us," Lupin murmured.

Snape thought for a moment. He didn't know if he did or could forgive the Maruders. It wasn't something one could decided all at once.

Snape looked back up at Lupin, who was resting his chin on his arms. The dim light from the half-moon illuminated the stream of silent tears that shown down Lupin's face.

"I..." Snape began. "I really don't know what to say. I...I'm sure he meant a great deal to you."

"Yes..." Lupin answered. He then buried his face in his arms.

_He even weeps with composure,_ Snape thought. His expression softened a bit. He stared at Lupin, who wept silently, his body trembling slightly.

Snape felt a wave of pity wash over him. Lupin sat less than a foot away from him, yet the man seemed so completely and utterly alone.

Snape looked away, then back again. He extended his hand toward Lupin, hesitated, pulling it back a bit, then finally reached over and tenatively rested his hand on Lupin's shoulder.

Lupin took a deep breath and raised his head, his eyes shining, and looked up at Snape in suprise. Snape met his gaze for a moment, then nervously shifted his gaze away and withdrew his hand.

Just in time, Snape realized later. At that particular moment, both Snape and Lupin heard the roof entrance open and turned to see who it was.

Hermione Granger stuck her fluff-haired head through the opening and climbed up. "Professor Lupin, I--" She stopped short, obviously not expecting to see Snape there. "Oh...Professor Snape. Um, Mrs. Weasley sent me up here to let you know that she's made desert if you'd like any."

"Thank you Miss Granger," Lupin replied. "Sounds delightful. Professor Snape and I shall be down shortly."

Hermione nodded, quickly retreating back inside.

"Well," Lupin concluded, drying his eyes as he rose to his feet. "I thought I smelled chocolate earlier, so whatever Molly's made should be rather delicious."

Snape blinked, then stood up also. Both professors silently made their way back to the roof entrance and back inside.

_A/N: Well, I'm sure someone's written something similar to this concept somewhere, but this is my take on it. First HP fanfic! I finally read all the books!_


End file.
